


And They Lived

by lloydsglasses



Series: Aro/Ace Twelve [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual Character, Asexual Doctor (Doctor Who), Asexuality, Darillium, F/M, Gen, Kissing, Post-Episode: 2015 Xmas The Husbands of River Song, Relationship Negotiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 21:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11677833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lloydsglasses/pseuds/lloydsglasses
Summary: She kisses him that night, right there on the balcony.Her lips are light and chaste against his own, gone before he really has the time to protest. When she pulls back River looks happy, her eyes bright with warmth and love and more emotions than he can possibly name.





	And They Lived

**Author's Note:**

> Cw for kinda dub con kissing.

She kisses him that night, right there on the balcony.

Her lips are light and chaste against his own, gone before he really has the time to protest. When she pulls back River looks happy, her eyes bright with warmth and love and more emotions than he can possibly name. She’s never usually so open with him.

He decides not to say anything about it, taking her hand and leading her over to their table instead.

\--

She kisses him again later on, once they’re back in the TARDIS.

It’s different this time. Her entire body presses up against his as she pins him back against the TARDIS console, hands slipping easily inside his jacket and running lightly over his chest. It feels urgent somehow, quick and unrelenting, like she thinks she can kiss the oxygen out of him if she just keeps trying. For a moment – a very, very brief moment – he sort of goes with it, not sure what else he’s really supposed to do. And then suddenly there’s a tongue in his mouth and saliva on his lips and everything feels too wet and he can’t–

He pulls back abruptly, wiping his mouth against the back of his hand. River looks up at him in surprise.

“Are you alright?” she asks, after a few beats of silence.

He tries to nod, but he isn’t entirely sure he manages it. It’s hard to focus when everything feels too loud inside his head. His skin itches unpleasantly where River’s hands rest upon his stomach, and his hearts are beating far too rapidly.

“Yes,” he manages to say, eventually. Her fingers begin to move gently against his shirt, rubbing slow circles along his body in a way that is probably supposed to be soothing. Mostly he just wants her to stop touching him.

“Can we–” He breaks off, coughing a little and staring resolutely at her left shoulder rather than have to face the disappointment he knows he’ll see in her eyes. “Would it be alright if we could just…”

“Slow down?” River prompts, and when he looks up she’s smiling softly.

“Yes, please,” he says, relieved.

She removes her hands from his jacket, taking a moment to straighten it slightly before she steps back and gives him the space he needs to put himself back together.

\--

Her kisses are a bit less overwhelming, after that.

River applies for a teaching position at the most prestigious of Darillium’s universities, and once she’s got the job she leaves him with a kiss on the cheek at the start of each work cycle and another to greet him when she returns. He doesn’t mind those ones quite so much; her lips feel pleasantly dry against his cheek, and they never last long enough for the sensation to become uncomfortable. All in all it’s not a bad way of expressing affection.

But sometimes he’ll do something nice – something like taking her for a stroll along the beaches of Florana, because even though they might have said _one last night_ neither of them can really stay still for very long – and she’ll look at him with that surprised, overjoyed smile and press her mouth against his own. He never tries too hard to stop her because he likes it when she’s happy – likes to try and make up for all the years when their relationship was essentially nothing more than a toxic mess – but that doesn’t make it any less unpleasant to endure.

\--

They’re about a year in when she pushes him down on her bed and kisses him hungrily while her fingers work at unbuttoning his shirt. It ends with tears on her part, and more than one slammed door. As for him, he simply changes into his favourite holey jumper and spends the next few hours sitting quietly on the maintenance level of the TARDIS, as close to the ship’s core as he can possibly get.

He doesn’t blame River, not really. He just wishes that when she asked all those months ago if he wanted to slow down, he’d thought to correct her assumption that he wanted to do anything at all.

\--

With a little help from Nardole – of all the unlikely people – the two of them manage to patch things up a bit. Afterwards, River is noticeably different. She’s stopped kissing him altogether. Stopped touching him too, for the most part, and the incessant flirting has definitely been dialled back a few notches. 

It isn’t so much that he misses it. It’s just that River feels somehow less… River-y, without all that. He doesn’t like the idea that she’s holding herself back, not when the flirty bravado is just part of who she is.

She seems to have accepted that he isn’t likely to change for her; now he worries that she thinks she needs to change herself for him.

\--

River comes home from work with a manic glint in her eye and a story about missing Darilli crystals. They spend three weeks covered in dirt and grime, searching through catacombs that aren’t supposed to be discovered for another seven-hundred years. Eventually they track down all three of the missing crystals and River smiles up at him giddily, her face illuminated by glow of his sonic screwdriver.

He feels dizzy on his own cleverness – and dizzy on hers too – and more than all that he feels happy that he gets to share this moment with her. He leans down and brushes a kiss against her cheek to let her know.

\--

“You keep doing that,” says River, frowning up at him as he pulls back gently. They’ve been wandering Tiaanamat marketplace for hours, the two of them in no particular rush to be anywhere or do anything, and when River looped her arm casually through his, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her forehead felt like the natural thing to do.

He blinks a little, feeling supremely wrong-footed. “Is it okay?”

River stares at him with an unreadable expression on her face. “Do you actually enjoy it?”

“Would I keep doing it if I didn’t?”

“You might.” The Doctor isn’t entirely sure what to say to that, and River sighs. “Doctor, a few months ago I found out you’d been letting me come on to you even though you didn’t like it.”

He coughs, but still doesn’t say anything.

“It’s alright if you’re not interested, Doctor,” River continues. “You explained it to me, remember? It’s just that you keep kissing me, and I’m not sure what that means.”

It takes a moment for him to realise what she’s getting at.

“I still don’t want to have sex with you,” he says hurriedly.

“That’s alright.” She squeezes his arm lightly, looking up at him as if she expects him to elaborate. When he fails to, she gives him another prompt. “No sex. But kissing is alright?”

“On the cheek.”

“Okay. Anything else that’s alright?”

He pauses to think about that properly for a while. “Holding hands can be nice. Sometimes.”

“Okay,” she says again, smiling and dropping her hand down his arm, slipping her fingers between his.

\--

Later that night – because it’s always the same night on Darillium, no matter how many years pass – the Doctor sits on a sofa in the TARDIS library re-reading his favourite, battered copy of Pride and Prejudice. River is curled up next to him marking papers, her feet tucked underneath his thigh to keep them warm. After a while, she stretches languidly and sets her marking aside.

“More tea?” she asks.

“Only if you’re having some,” the Doctor murmurs distractedly, not looking up from his book.

She extracts her feet from beneath his leg, wiggling her toes gently before getting up. On her way to the kitchen, she leans down and presses a quick kiss against his cheek. Absentmindedly, the Doctor smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> I think it’s safe to say that the Lie of the Land AU is sadly on hold for a few weeks. In the meantime, expect short ficlets about aro/ace Twelve, because I’d like to at least be writing _something._
> 
> I'm not really a River/Doctor at all tbh, but aro/aces in relationships are so interesting to me so I had to write this. Also I'm pretty sure the thing about Twelve sitting close to the TARDIS core in his holey jumper for comfort was probably inspired by [Wednesday 25th December 2019](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2844233) by Quanna, which is one of my favourite Twelve fics. Go read it if you haven't already!


End file.
